The Dynamics Underlying The Difficult Person

deal with difficult people effectivelyThey are out there. They could be your boss, college professor, business partner, landlord, or even your own spouse, children, siblings or parents. Anyone can be a difficult person to someone else.

You may not admit it – but at one time or another, all of us have been (or seemed to be) difficult people to other people. Who knows, you may be seeking a remedy for difficult individuals you know without being aware that you’re a difficult person yourself.

It is vital to see if you are in a situation with a difficult person or if you yourself are beginning to be one. The first solution to any problem is recognizing the problem. There is an often-cited tale of this guy who held on tightly to a tree stem in the dead of the night, deep in the forest, thinking he was hanging on a cliff. When the sun finally came up, he found the ground below him was a mere foot away from his feet. Had he known his real situation, he wouldn’t have had to dangle there all night.

In most cases, difficult people do not realize they are difficult. They don’t see that they are demanding too much from other people. They think their attitude is just normal. Likewise, some of their victims may not see that they are dealing with difficult people. The earlier the problem is detected, the smoother the sailing will be.

Smooth Sailing, But You’re Still at Sea

It’s vital that at this early point, we grasp the fact that avoiding difficult people does not solve the problem in question. As mentioned earlier, these people are everywhere. There is no privacy they cannot invade. You might as well leave the planet and settle on Mars to get rid of them totally. But that will only mean you’re going to start a new race of difficult people there.

If you like the sea, you have to get used to its moods. The key is not to stay out of it but to learn to sail smoothly through thick and thin. Likewise, it is learning how to deal with a difficult person that gives you smooth sailing amid a storm. Once you master this, difficult people will start liking you, and your new problem will be “how not to be liked too much” by difficult people. There is great reward in taming a difficult person. Remember The Little Prince?

Why Are Difficult People Difficult?

So what makes a difficult person difficult?

Everyone out there is fighting a life battle of some kind, even people with the sweetest smiles. The battles may be fierce or slight, and people take these things according to their level of toleration or LOT. Some have a high LOT and simply take life’s battles in stride, calmly accepting them as they come.

Some, however, have a low LOT and fail to contain the pressure that life’s challenges present. The pressure spills over in whatever activities they engage in and affects whomever they get in touch with.

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