Willpower to Change

It is now obvious that the willpower to deal with difficult people becomes realistic only if you have the willpower to change. Yes, the first person to change is YOU before any difficult person can be dealt with. If you cannot or will not change, it only means you are also a difficult person, and as the old adage goes, the blind cannot lead the blind. They will both fall into a pit. And if you settle for being a difficult person, though mildly at that (mildly or otherwise, a difficult person is still difficult), think of the people who will suffer because of you, among them your family.

And it’s unthinkable that a difficult person can help another difficult person. They won’t be able to stand each other, remember? And you can’t avoid difficult people. So, the best option is to learn how to deal with them. The first step is to make sure you are not a difficult person yourself.

If you’re not currently doing the “7 steps to developing willpower to deal with difficult people”, you need to change your attitude. These pointers will help you identify and eliminate bad attitudes to ensure you are not becoming a difficult person yourself:

Respect people always

Be aware that people, young and old, are entitled to their rights, beliefs, and opinions. Without being vocal about it, don’t consider yourself to be better than others. This will get rid of self-conceit which is the root of disrespect and being inconsiderate. Respect authorities in their jurisdictions, whether in the office, school, malls, public buses, homes, or lands. Be aware that you cannot impose your own standards and you have to adjust to their policies.

Don’t compare yourself with others aloud

You may do so in your mind, but never actually say it. Different people mostly do things differently and you must not feel superior with your methods and style. Likewise, do not compare people with other people verbally. We have tendencies to compare people, but keep it to yourself.

Follow a schedule but don’t be too rigid with it

If you are an employer or supervisor, you will surely have work schedules and deadlines for your employees or subordinates. But don’t be too harsh on the implementation. Remember that we are only humans – even machines and computers fail. People err, get tired or sick, and at times get burned out. They need encouragement. Give them workloads equal to what you pay them. Be kind to them. If you are in business, don’t get too absorbed in hitting goals or quotas. There will always be tomorrow, and tomorrow will yield better results. Learn to let go of things that pressure you. Drop everything and go out for a while. Meditate. Look at your surroundings and enjoy them. Smile at people. There’s more to life than just doing your business or anything else that keeps you stressed out.

Enjoy what you are doing, and make sure those working with you also feel the same way

Work must support life, and not the other way around. When work becomes a burden, life merely supports work, and that will be painful for everyone involved. Then, sooner or later, everyone affected becomes a difficult person. Every job must become an adventure where every turn makes you excited to go further.

Never assume to know everything

Even if you do, always consider what others have to say, even if you’re a boss. Accept the fact that there are always going to be things you are utterly ignorant of, no matter how smart you think you are. If, in a meeting among peers, you are knowledgeable about a topic and they are not, it is safer to wait to be asked for your opinion. It is also good to politely offer your opinion, but do so more on a note of sharing rather than lecturing, unless you are a lecturer in the said meeting.

Never give unsolicited advice

Don’t give pieces of your “good” advice to people who don’t ask for them, more so to people who don’t look like they need them. Unless you are closely related to such people, or you are asked for your advice, keep your suggestions to yourself. You may need them more than anyone else does.

Learn to admit fault and apologize

It’s not important anymore to determine who is right and who is wrong. When you see that you have hurt a person, whether you are on the right or wrong side, admit your fault and apologize. Admitting your fault does not always mean you are wrong. It may mean you said the right thing at the wrong time in the wrong place. And that’s your fault. It’s definitely your fault when you come into a funeral wake and tell the bereaved that the dead man was a crook and a liar (difficult people can do this). You may be right, but your rightness will hurt the feelings of the aggrieved family, and that’s your fault. But it’s different when the truth needs to be revealed in the name of justice. If you have to testify in court that the dead man was a crook and a liar, though it may hurt the relatives of the deceased, you must say so without hesitation.

Love must override rules and regulations

True leaders love their followers and always seek after their welfare. They do not just put things in order. Many administrators and managers merely want order and to see to it that rules and policies are obeyed. This makes many of them difficult people. Rules and policies are good, but they seldom benefit anybody except maybe the ones who made them. Don’t decide on matters in a way that negates the personal choices of other people, like in choosing a lifetime partner, a career, or things to buy. Guide them but never dictate to them.

Don’t be unreasonable

Make sure your instructions and requirements are within the reach and capacity of other people. You may be able to do certain things other people can’t, and you have to consider this. Remember that you yourself also have limited potentials in some areas.

Never humiliate people

Don’t shout at people, or scold them, or curse them, especially in front of other people. It’s normal to be angry at times when there is a valid reason. But be careful not to turn anger into hatred. Anger lasting for more than an hour is a potential hatred. Once hatred sets in, a difficult person is born within you; and you may soon find humiliating a person as a normal, or even delightful, activity.

Nurture a sense of humor

This is very important. It will keep your sanity intact amid the fiercest pressure attacks. Humor keeps your LOT very high, not to mention a healthy heart and lasting youth. It keeps everything light and easy, even in the worst scenario. Always find something funny in whatever is happening. As the old adage goes, laughter is the best medicine. A sense of humor can change people and alter tight situations.

Watch your health and diet

It’s hard to control your anger when you’re sick, especially with hypertension or heart ailments. So eat healthy foods, especially those high in fiber. Avoid too many fatty and salty foods, unhealthy drinks, junk foods, and those high in cholesterol. Take natural food supplements high in micro-nutrients, and exercise regularly. Try to maintain your ideal weight. Your LOT can cope better with pressures if your health doesn’t get in the way. Get enough sleep to get ready for tomorrow’s new pressures.

Willpower to Deal

First things first. If you do not want to deal with difficult people, or any difficulty for that matter, then you’re wasting your time reading this post. You will run away all your life. No place on earth is safe from difficult people. You really have no choice but to learn how to face them squarely and effectively.

A run-away once dove into the deepest depths of the ocean floor hoping to evade all difficult, smart alecks on earth and vowed never to return to dry land. He found two underwater tunnels and stopped to decide which one to take. As he went for one, his thoughts told him, “Wrong choice, silly!” Not long after, there beneath the earth, he finally learned to live with the worst difficult person he has ever known – himself.

Here are some practical steps to develop the willpower to deal with difficult people.

1. You must like people

All people take on all sorts of attitudes. Liking people is the first sure step to triumph. Avoiding them, especially the difficult ones, is a sure path to becoming difficult yourself. So the first natural thing to do is to go out and meet people. Very soon, you will meet difficult people. Greet them and genially accept whatever reaction they give you. Don’t be discouraged; but continue to greet more of them regularly until you get used to them, and until your LOT skyrockets to record-breaking heights. They may be rude and cruel, but no one’s ever heard of getting shot or killed by greeting difficult people (except in the movies).

2. Smile

Most touchy people can be neutralized by a friendly smile. So practice putting on a pleasant, simple, friendly smile in front of a mirror. Public speakers and actors study their facial expressions facing a mirror. Political and beauty aspirants take time with a photographer just putting on the best smile that exudes confidence and friendliness. A smile, they say, says it all. Regardless of how your face looks, a smile always (well, at least most of the time) puts on warmth and comeliness. A good smile always arrests the temper, even that of difficult people. So always smile.

3. Be sincere

A smile helps a lot, but sincerity gives your smile credibility. A mere smile is a matter of facial muscle flexing. When this alone is involved, the smile becomes unnatural. Put your heart into it! A sincere heart will automatically show if you live a life of sincerity. Practice sincerity. Always be sincere in all you do daily. When your heart gets used to being sincere, smiling sincerely becomes natural. Difficult people can see right through you, and sincerity melts their hearts.

4. Listen well

Almost all difficult people want to talk much more than they listen. This is the main problem in communication. Difficult people love to talk and want people to listen to them. In a nutshell, that’s what they are. Basically, you cannot put two difficult persons together and have them talk. Difficult people avoid each other once they recognize each other. If they are made to sit down and listen, they can’t stand it. They will either stand up and steal the scene, or just walk out. If you are working for (or with) a difficult person, or worse yet, locked up with him for life, practice becoming a good listener. You must learn the wisdom of enjoying listening. Few have this wisdom. Most people think there is wisdom in monopolizing a conversation. As in business, this only results in unfairness and silent protests. You can make difficult people happy when you just listen to them. Not many can do this. When you are a good listener, even the most difficult people tend to trust you with their secrets. Then you begin to know them as they reveal who they really are. You begin to understand them deeper; thus, you will be able to help them better. As they open up their secrets, understand and love them more.

5. Be agreeable

This does not necessarily mean agreeing to anything difficult people say, but it is more about agreeing not to argue. If you don’t agree with the opinions of difficult people, just listen and send everything to your mental bin. Delete. It’s your right. But never argue. Never mind if they say you are not confrontational. So what? Nobody dies because of that. But arguments often kill. Nations go to war because of arguments. See the wisdom? Remember that every seed of kindness you plant now will surely reap a harvest of favors soon. It happens nearly every time. Valuables are often left to agreeable people, never to aggressive ones. Very few trust contrary people. If you are known for your politeness, even the most difficult folks will give you special favors. Always remember that the most difficult people are strivers. They are workaholics. They feed on pressure to hit their goals. Often they get promoted to positions that confer favors on “worthy” men. They often rake in more valuables than the average guy.

6. Be honest

Never flatter anyone insincerely, especially difficult people. Insincere flattery always traps its users, and it sure is hell to get trapped with a difficult person. Hence, it always pays to just listen and be agreeable. See? When difficult people ask your opinion or ask if you agree with them, tell them honestly but nicely. If you agree, agree. If you don’t, make sure you stress that it is your opinion, not a statement of fact. Most likely, they will not agree with it and may even try to make you realize how stupid it is. Just listen and be polite. Or, if possible and truthful, quote somebody’s opinion that agrees with yours. If they mock it, at least you save your dignity. Then you can smile more easily. If you insincerely flatter difficult people and they get to like you for it, woe to you! You will find it more difficult, and later, impossible to be free from them.

7. Praise

Take note of their worth and achievements, even if you think differently and have a different idea of success. Appreciate their efforts. Share their triumphs and sad moments. At times, a smile or tap of congratulations or sympathy is enough and speaks volumes. But never overdo it.

Practice the steps above daily until you make it your habit. You will soon possess a healing power that countless people need and crave for – the power that will launch you to untold successes in whatever endeavor you engage in.

Now, by putting the pressure reversal to work, the vicious cycle can be interrupted and can produce the exact opposite. A good attitude can spring up from a bad attitude if the bearer simply makes a decision to be different and works it out. A bad tree may be treated with reversal treatments like grafting and spraying to make it bear good fruits.

A difficult person is difficult probably because he got it from someone close to him. A difficult father may inadvertently transfer his personality to a child who either idolizes or abhors him. A professor may transfer his attitude to his students. You may acquire the characteristics of your friends.

Hero-worship Transfer

When a successful person is a difficult person, those who idolize him and follow in his footsteps may also turn out to be difficult individuals too. They will see that a factor in his success is his manner of dealing with people. People always attribute their success partly to management skills. And to others, “management skills” is the style of talking to and treating people; or worse, putting pressure on people for them to work harder.

Likewise, a person who ends up in tragedy may appear “successful” to others as a hero because he personifies the cause they are fighting for. For example, a janitor, while trying to save his boss, dies in a fire. He may be idolized by his sons who would also become janitors loyal to their bosses.

It is good to emulate really good heroes; but even difficult people can appear “heroes” to some people, and thus people imitate their attitude. Dictators have always left behind ardent followers who often become even more ruthless dictators.

Abhorrence transfer

World history is replete with people who deposed dictators only to become worse dictators themselves later. There are two reasons for the transfer of this attitude:

1. Revenge

Some people who suffered from difficult people tend to repeat everything to their subordinates or to the next generation. Here works the Principle of Substitution. The absence of the object of vengeance (say, if the person for whom vengeance is intended is already dead), or when the avenger is powerless to execute retribution, he takes on instead those under him who are more powerless than him. Those under him become substitutes for the real object of vengeance. Hence, the child who suffers from his difficult father might release his frustration on his younger brother, and the younger brother might take on his pet dog.

2. Holding on to power

A sales manager who hates his difficult sales director desperately holding on to power, might someday make it as director. He begins to love the position so much that he begins to understand the attitude of his ex-director and be as difficult (or worse than) his predecessor. He starts out as a victim of a difficult person and he hates it, only to become a worse copy because of greed for power.

Life pressures are common. We all encounter them in certain measures, and to varying degrees each day. They help us mature gracefully, if handled well. But the moment we let them begin controlling us, we tend to pass the pressure on to others and we become a “pain in the neck”, so to speak.

The day you were born, the womb was pressured to the maximum and your mother had to be rushed to the delivery room. When the pressure was too much, a major operation was needed. When you were transferred from the womb into this world, you began growing through a series of pressures: the pressure to eat, to sleep, to stop crying, to lie on your belly, to sit, to crawl, to stand up, and finally to walk. Your parents had to force you to do these things as a part of growing up. Then there was the pressure to eat nutritious things like vegetables and fruits. As you continued to grow, you were pressured to talk and pronounce words properly.

Then, you were sent to school. There, the teacher introduced new pressures to you to help you learn more and “grow” intellectually. The higher the schooling, the stronger the pressures became. Exams, projects, recitations, competitions, and the like were introduced to you, because “more of those pressures will meet you in the future”, they said. You were born and grown through pressures of all manner.

These kinds of pressures are all necessary. They are all essentially good. They are designed to bring out the best in us. But somehow, when taken out of context or from the wrong perspective, they can become negative pressures that, instead of bringing out the best, bring out the worse. Pressures ought to be faced maturely. This means the soul (mind, feelings, and will) is nurtured as pressures are overcome. But when the ego takes in all the beatings (the soul succumbs to the pressures), a difficult person emerges and takes over.

Types of Pressures

More often than not, some form of life pressure is the culprit in the emergence of difficult people. Other types are:

• Peer pressure – when being difficult becomes a trend (glorified in movies and on TV) and your peers go with the flow.
• Illness pressure – which is due to a mild illness.
• Disciplinary pressure – when having a difficult attitude is assumed to test the loyalty and perseverance of subordinates, like in offices, in fraternities, and in the military.

These pressures are often momentary and feigned. Disciplinary pressures, when properly administered, seldom result in a bad attitude because it is used to mold the character.

Pressures brought about by everyday life, and which becomes internalized or “ingrained”, is the focus of this study. These pressures may shock an individual and enter the system. As one of these “pressures” hits bottom, it starts to build up and gather steam. Eventually, it is contained no longer and erupts into a destructive attitude.

Overt Pressures

Some pressures in life are obvious. They attack from the outside. Piled up work in the office, a very demanding boss, deadlines to beat, school or board exams, and a nagging spouse are examples of these pressures. They are often temporary and manageable, shortened by rest periods when the cause of the pressure is allayed. But they show nonetheless, sometimes in slightly heightened degrees. And yes, some difficult people may simply be the result of other people’s being difficult to them. It’s like a vicious cycle – in most cases it is attributable to attitude transfer. Wrong attitudes can be imparted.

Overt pressures are mostly “skin deep” and can rarely affect the total person for long periods. More so, the effect is seldom permanent. Bad attitude from this type of pressure feeds on the periodic onslaughts of minute pressures, and without such feeding, the bad attitude subsides. But if ignored, such bad attitudes may worsen as the ratio of pressures and rest periods become disproportional. In such cases, the bad attitude recovers quickly from the rest period because the latter is cut short by a new overt pressure.

For instance, a student is pressured by both financial problems and the submission of a school project due soon. He is irked by financial woes and lack of time. Such double or even multiple pressures produce low LOT. He starts to be prickly with his group mates. After rushing to finish the project the night before the deadline, the professor announces a long surprise quiz. The first pressures have hardly gone by when the second one comes in. The rest period is terribly cut short, leaving the battered emotions unrelieved, and the temperament all the more irritated. The LOT drops to its lowest point.

When a person is pestered by overt pressure and he has the will to initially overcome it, he tends to be mildly difficult at first. LOT slightly lowers. If symptoms persist and complications are added, he goes halfway to being extreme. It becomes extremely difficult to stop when the pressures start to really build up. The LOT dives as a result.

When the pressure increases, the LOT decreases, and vice-versa. If a person has control of his/her LOT and is able to even boost it, he/she has mastered the art of self-control and proves to be a strong, patient person we all admire. Most pressures are uncontrollable, but our levels of toleration are – if we master them. And once we do, we are able to help difficult people.

So the game is really all about LOT mastery. And winning the game means keeping the LOT high. A high LOT is a sure way of determining that you are not a difficult person, and a high LOT is a sure tactic for conquering difficult people.

Take this case as an example. When a demanding boss or professor (probably a difficult guy himself) is appeased, or a deadline is met, or an exam is passed, or a nagging (difficult) wife is momentarily pacified, then things quiet down and the difficult person relaxes and exhibits tolerable manners. And often, the ease periods that occur between pressures are relief well taken by him so that he may sometimes be strangely benevolent to people. You may see him being nice even to people he usually seems to despise. He may buy everybody a free lunch. But don’t be deceived. Such transitions are temporary. If you are caught with this person, brace up for another round of challenges soon.

Overt pressures are, at times, relatively easy to escape from. Difficult people who meet such pressures usually resort to other activities to divert attention and be temporarily relieved from the pressures that beset them. They may busy themselves with some charitable works, games, leisure or hobby. They may take up a new school course, or socialize and hold positions in clubs. Initially, this seems a good way of “channeling energy” to other “positive” activities, but this is merely an escape route that can change or solve nothing except to possibly provide short relief.

There are several crucial factors affecting overt pressures. Among them are the following:

Escapism

As Karl Marx puts it, anything that diverts attention from the root cause of a problem is an “opiate” of the people. Escapism is not only an opiate. It usually drowns its victims in a whirlpool of falsehood and lies which later transforms and becomes real in a victim’s eyes. Many difficult people worsen when they resort to mere escapism to ward off pressures without confronting and remedying their situation. The brief relief diminishes in effectiveness; therefore, higher doses of relief are required to produce a more potent “anti-pressure serum” in the same way that antibiotics become ineffective when over-used. Thus, you see some difficult people continually becoming harder to please. When difficult people resort to escaping, they are building their own world of lies. Worse, they impose such a world on other people, so that meaningful relations are only possible when others adapt to the world of these difficult people.

Crossing Over

Some overt pressures, if taken positively, can actually serve as “stepping stones” to help difficult people overcome their adverse attitudes. These are called stepping stones because they can slowly change a difficult person from being difficult to being tolerable or considerate. It’s like crossing over from their false world to the real world.

Pressure Reversal

When you fight your negative tendencies, you reverse the pressure effects and come out a different person if done consistently. This takes a lot of self-control. It works pretty much like reverse psychology. Child psychologists say that instead of making a child obey you, you can talk to them in forms of suggestions that make sense to them based on their interests; for instance, telling them running could cause them to stumble and hurt themselves rather than simply ordering them to stop running. Their interest is to avoid getting hurt. In pressure reversal, you convince yourself to always react positively especially in adverse situations. What is your interest here? It is to not become like the difficult person you are dealing with. You don’t want to turn into an unreasonably demanding boss someday, so you assume exactly the opposite attitude your difficult boss is showing you. It takes an apple tree to produce an apple. If you want a banana, then don’t plant an apple tree.

Covert Pressures

Pressures that are imbedded attack from within. They are the more subtle pressures that make for a more difficult and often defiant or resistant character. Difficult people born out of covert pressures seem to disagree with everybody and everything. They seem to hate the world. They seldom find respite from their pressures because the pressures are deep within. It has been built into their system. Unlike difficult people with overt pressures who still enjoy intermediate (though temporary) cessation of pressures, victims of covert pressures live a life of being difficult. They stay hurt and irritated, and are quick to react negatively to many situations.

Covert pressures are often things from the past that were impressed during childhood, like abusive or damaging words from parents, scenes of violence, fierce sibling rivalry, discrimination, and persistent financial problems. Some may be incurred in adolescence or even in adulthood. Covert pressures either push people to compete for recognition or to withdraw by blaming others. These people try to live a dream wherein everything is perfect due to their designs and doings. They see themselves as heroes who always know the right things to do. They forcefully dictate their ways and opinions onto others while fully convinced they are here on a mission to correct others (a positive thing in their mind).

People react to covert pressures in 2 ways. They either:

Compete for recognition

Covert pressures may goad people to compete for recognition. Aching to be recognized is one highly motivational pressure that has either made or broken many lives in history. A classic example is a boy who, due to poverty, suffered discrimination and banishment. His relatives made him feel that he would never amount to anything. As he grew up, the boy vowed to do everything to prove his accusers wrong. He later became a self-made man. Over the years he became successful materially but his hurt emotions had been deeply embedded within his ego. Now, life to him is one big competition. He constantly strives to show himself as right, and others as wrong. Of course, he does not announce this as a creed, but without being aware it becomes the foundation of all he does. It becomes the engine that runs his life, the inspiration that gives him gusto. So he goes about his daily routine correcting everybody, giving his unsolicited advice, and making sure everyone listens to him. After all, he is a self-made man, and people ought to learn from his example. And thus, life becomes difficult for those close to him and around him. Of course, any man under covert pressure can opt to react differently and apply a little pressure reversal. He may still do everything to win in life, but he must also consider those who are not as successful, and those who do not want to be too successful. Believe it or not, there are many people who fall into this category because they see being ultra-successful as carrying a lot of responsibility with it.

Withdraw by blaming others

Covert pressures can also send people to the depths of despair; and being in a helpless state, they hate others for it. They may opt to appear defeated too, and may show how much a loser they are by refusing to engage in anything worthwhile. Yet they maintain that they are mere victims of circumstances beyond control, of which others are to blame. Their fate is often a life of endless searching for reasons to despair more. These difficult people see nothing but failure and doom, and urge you to see things likewise. Yet, they may also opt to appear normal like everybody and pretend to undertake worthwhile things. But they lead a life of constantly blaming others for everything wrong and claiming authorship for everything right. Often, these people will offer little help or suggestion, if any, unlike those who opt for competition for recognition. These individuals will only blame and put down people. They love to see failure mushrooming around people. They want to prove that everybody but them is stupid.

Covert pressures take charge of their victims’ lives. They damage the emotional foundations of people. When ignored, they go deeper and settle in the egos. The ego, or inner person, is the one within that controls and operates the person outside. The visible person outside is a mere puppet of the person inside.

When Overt and Covert Pressures Strike Together

The worst-case scenario comes when both overt and covert pressures attack difficult people. Imagine a guy with a serious, latent pressure embedded in his heart which grows as the years pass by. Then add the outside pressures that worsen the pressure inside, and hot steams begin to spill out of breaks in the walls. When the whole thing finally gives way, you have a volcanic eruption in your hands. And in real life, there are such people.

Pressures do a lot of wonders to people. Geological pressures beneath the earth either create or stir up violent upheavals, or both. It’s the same with pressures on humans. Pressure can transform them to better and stronger individuals, or they can stir them to chaotic, destructive impulses that create even deadlier pressures. People who are able to break through the barriers of pressures unharmed come out like diamonds. (Diamonds come from a terrible build up of pressure from super red-hot rocks below the earth.)

You may not admit it – but at one time or another, all of us have been (or seemed to be) difficult people to other people. Who knows, you may be seeking a remedy for difficult individuals you know without being aware that you’re a difficult person yourself.

It is vital to see if you are in a situation with a difficult person or if you yourself are beginning to be one. The first solution to any problem is recognizing the problem. There is an often-cited tale of this guy who held on tightly to a tree stem in the dead of the night, deep in the forest, thinking he was hanging on a cliff. When the sun finally came up, he found the ground below him was a mere foot away from his feet. Had he known his real situation, he wouldn’t have had to dangle there all night.

In most cases, difficult people do not realize they are difficult. They don’t see that they are demanding too much from other people. They think their attitude is just normal. Likewise, some of their victims may not see that they are dealing with difficult people. The earlier the problem is detected, the smoother the sailing will be.

Smooth Sailing, But You’re Still at Sea

It’s vital that at this early point, we grasp the fact that avoiding difficult people does not solve the problem in question. As mentioned earlier, these people are everywhere. There is no privacy they cannot invade. You might as well leave the planet and settle on Mars to get rid of them totally. But that will only mean you’re going to start a new race of difficult people there.

If you like the sea, you have to get used to its moods. The key is not to stay out of it but to learn to sail smoothly through thick and thin. Likewise, it is learning how to deal with a difficult person that gives you smooth sailing amid a storm. Once you master this, difficult people will start liking you, and your new problem will be “how not to be liked too much” by difficult people. There is great reward in taming a difficult person. Remember The Little Prince?

Why Are Difficult People Difficult?

So what makes a difficult person difficult?

Everyone out there is fighting a life battle of some kind, even people with the sweetest smiles. The battles may be fierce or slight, and people take these things according to their level of toleration or LOT. Some have a high LOT and simply take life’s battles in stride, calmly accepting them as they come.

Some, however, have a low LOT and fail to contain the pressure that life’s challenges present. The pressure spills over in whatever activities they engage in and affects whomever they get in touch with.