There is no room anymore for the old concept that not everyone is creative, it is now proved that everybody can develop creative thinking. Researches showed that the only difference between the creative ones and the “non-creative” ones lies on just one difference. The ones considered creative they believe that they are creative and the ones who are labelled as “non-creative” believe the opposite.

We are all born creative but what happens is we allow people to tell us what we are capable of and what our limits are. However, the truth is, we should never ever let others put a limit or a label in what we can become because they don’t have a clue of what we could become, only we  know what we are capable of becoming.

As creativity is a skill we definitely need in life and in our careers let’s take a look how we can unleash it from the depth of our unconscious.

Positive Mood

A study made by Ruby Nadler and published in Psychological Science journal has shown that a positive mood can boost our creativity and problem solving skills. In the experiment the subjects were put in different moods using funny videos and happy songs or parts of sad movies and sad songs. Then they were asked to perform some tasks that required creativity and problem solving skills and unsurprisingly the ones in a positive mood were way better than the other group. So next time you need some good ideas laugh yourself to bright ideas watching a funny video, listening to happy songs or doing something that makes you feel good.

Amplify

Amplify details of your experiences and relationship with the world. See your daily life through the lens of a six year old child or less. Transport yourself to a different view from yours.

Take Breaks

The pressure to think of a single subject is an inhibition in itself. As much as we speak wonders to remain “focused” is always good to keep in mind that this process restricts and limits new ideas. Go to a park there is something about being in contact with nature that makes our creativity go wild. I personally find churches and libraries heaven as far as peace and quiet is concerned. The main benefit is to cut off the excess stimuli.

Play

“Every child is an artist. The problem is to remain an artist once we grow up” – Picasso. We must do what they do – Play and that was exactly what Carl Jung did. He would go to the garden and play with his little stones when he felt lost or stuck. Amazingly he had jaw dropping insights when he was playing!

Connect and Combine

Every time you find your mind wondering on random thoughts that won’t take you anywhere try exercising your mind to be creative. Think of five totally different words and try to connect them somehow or think about absurdly different objects and try to combine them into one.

Creativity is a human skill no other being has this ability only us humans. That is why we were able to get where we are and there is no limit for our creativity. Being creative doesn’t mean we have to be like anyone else, the opposite more likely, be unique, be able to beat the traditional and innovate with different procedures, forms, interpretations and versions.

The benefits of Teamwork are well known and directly linked to quality, productivity and a better quality of life for workers which translates into more profit for companies and more bonuses for employees.

But, what does it take to be great in ‘Teamwork’?

Learn to develop and practice strong Interpersonal Skills. According to Serge Moscovici, the interpersonal relationship is the interaction between two or more people involving self-awareness, having effective communication and learning to listen and learn from the other people’s differences.

Be fully aware of your role and that you are part of a collective purpose. Then learn to communicate assertively and politely. Use appropriate and straight language, avoiding the use of jargon and difficult terms when simple words are enough. Provide information as clear and complete as possible. Use multiple channels to stimulate several senses of the receiver (hearing, vision etc.). Use face to face communication whenever possible.

The big one is to learn from the differences. Usually we don’t like the differences as they only serve to annoy us. However, learning how to appreciate these differences will have a huge impact in our interpersonal skills ability. If all the individuals in a team are exactly the same it will be impossible to achieve excellence. Diversity is good and the key is to know how to extract the best from every individual. Be tolerant and remain flexible at all times.

Negotiation Skills – In a negotiation you are seeking acceptance of your ideas, intentions or interests in the best possible outcome through an agreement in situations where there are common interests, disagreements and conflicts of interests, ideas and positions. The parties involved must have the opportunity to present all their thoughts about the subject. Negotiation does not mean confrontation, but a harmonization of situations between the parties so that everyone involved can benefit.

Act as a diplomat. It is necessary to create a bridge so that your opponent can reach you. You need to be friendly, but that does not mean you have to accept whatever the other proposes. Work for others to say “yes” to your proposals, not to be disliked and end up failing to reach agreement.

The biggest lesson here is changing the way we see a negotiation as we tend to think there is only one winner in a negotiation. However, in a successful negotiation there isn’t just one winner, but two or the team. The gain has to be mutual, always!

Every organization has limitations and policies, and when there is actually a good team involved that actually brings results, the improvement occurs over time, but it is quite noticeable that the organization’s structure begins to change as a result of this group and recognition is sure-fire.

Having a stupendous, awesome, first-class CV won’t guarantee the job if the person behind it doesn’t bring the right cluster of personality traits indispensable for future achievements. The lack of crucial soft skills, like self-motivation, positive attitude, communication, the ability to work as part of a team, leadership, time management, etc. is a clear indicator that the candidate has a limit on what will be accomplished.

If you are lucky enough you were born with the right set of personality traits and you won’t need to learn them. However, if you don’t have them you will have to learn them and best sooner than later.

Communication Skills

One of the soft skills most asked and we can see all over the job ads are “the candidate must have excellent communication skills”. Unfortunately, it doesn’t mean chatty!

Interpersonal relationships in business are fundamental. The way you communicate can determine your success or failure. Your ability to be a good listener is part of good communication skills. When you are talking to someone it is very important to give your full attention and maintain eye contact. If your mind wonders, the person will notice instantly. Don’t try to formulate questions or think about what to say next while someone is talking to you.

People don’t want you to agree with them all the time they just want to be listened and if you manage to develop your skills in listening you will be able to communicate your ideas effectively. The ability to put yourself in other people’s shoes is a great skill to have as it will help you enormously to be more effective in your communication avoiding conflicts. Courtesy and showing care for others not only with words but also using your voice tone and your body language are important aspects of good communication. If you can live in people’s memories for the right reasons you will be respected and more likely to achieve your goals personally and professionally.

The key is to be able to make your case and communicate your needs in such a way that your customers, colleagues and superiors instantly connect with your message.

Positive Attitude

Positive attitude is also mentioned abundantly in job descriptions. If you are not a natural in this area you have to learn to have a positive attitude and this can be tough. Old habits are solid ingrained in our personality and sometimes unlearning something is a lot more difficult than learning in the first place. Think! Can you unlearn to ride a bike? No, but you can learn to drive a car siting in the right seat and the left seat. You will never unlearn but you will put the not so positive attitude on hold and practise the positive ones. Train your brain to see the positive aspect in every so called negative experience.

The Ability to Work as Part of a Team

As a team player your ultimate goal is to work as part of a team that has an objective to be achieved and you are there to make this happen. In a football team the objective is to score goals and avoid the other team from scoring against you. So if you are not the goal keeper but you find yourself in the position of defending your team would you say I am not doing this because it is not my job? Acting as a team player is to make sure you do your work and always be ready to help the team to achieve their targets.

A good team has to work with synergy, cooperation, interaction but it doesn’t mean that diversity is not welcome. A great team is a combination of very different people with different abilities who can work together with synergy.

You have to be prepared to accept that some people in your team are very different from you. However, both have important abilities to contribute to the team. Keep an open mind and avoid prejudices, put your communications skills into practice and listen, listen and listen more. After all that is why we have two ears and one mouth!

Watch this video and ask yourself if you are losing precious opportunities that are at your disposal but located in your blind spot.

Do you want to spot the gorilla and everything else? Make sure you train your brain to be sharp enough to see from all perspectives.

According to Prof. Richard Wiseman you have to prime your brain with the question/problem and dedicate some time to find the answers you are looking for. The second step would be to just transfer the question/problem to the back of your mind and do something else, ideally something new not what you would do routinely.

When you dedicate some time searching for an answer/solution your brain starts to examine all the possibilities using all resources available to find what you are seeking. However, if you are too focussed all the time you can easily miss the gorilla or the curtains changing colour and so on.

That is why it is so vital to push it to the back of your mind and do something else completely unrelated like going to a museum or do some gardening. Anything that is different from your routine. Your brain will keep working on your question/problem in the background and will make the necessary connections to solve your issue.

Be aware though that you should keep your eyes peeled. Stay away from auto-pilot mode. In this mode our brain slows down because we are doing things in an automatic way. There is no need to think, create or ponder in this mode. To optimize our brain capabilities we need to be challenged by asking interesting questions to ourselves or trying to see things from another perspective.

Seeing things from another perspective is not always very easy depending on our personality. Sometimes we are too stubborn or too attached to our own point of views which makes the experience of trying new perspectives almost impossible. A solution for it is to ask people with very different backgrounds what would they do if…? Children are the best ones to ask, they come up with wonderful answers that might not solve your problem but listening to these different perspectives will make your brain take other paths and come up with unexpected and creative answers.

Sense of humor and always ready to have a laugh is also a good combination to relax your brain leaving it in the ideal state to produce great ideas and solutions. There is a strong connection between laughter and freedom of thought and expression. In short, a playful mode is all you need to build a brain new networks, new skills and intelligent solutions.

Seeing the obvious is not a privilege for a genius, but it is clear that overcoming the blind spots of vision was what made ??possible major advances in science, industry and business: Newton understood the gravity, Darwin developed his evolution theory, Gutenberg typography and Henry Ford won an empire. And you? What will be your big hit?

“What do human kidney donors and rabbits that drum their feet on the ground have in common?” – Richard Gross

Giving to others is a kind of therapy that puts us in touch with our humanity and also contributes to the balance of society.

We are living in an individualistic time, where we find ourselves always fighting our way in life, however all this effort is not worth it if we do not see each other, if we are not able to sympathise with the pain and needs of others. We are part of a network that needs generosity in order to avoid it from bursting.

That virtue is praised by many different religions on the planet, emerging even as a link between them. In most ancient traditions, the practice of solidarity and love to others walk hand in hand with the practice of justice and spirituality.

Caring for others is caring for ourselves as caring for the planet is essential for survival. It is our responsibility to build relationships and the world in which we wish to live.

Throughout life, the more generous experience, more natural is the altruistic act. This ethic seeps into our way of life, guiding better choices and attitudes. When you practice generosity, others can learn and practice as well. The effect, then spreads around and gets stronger.

But it is not just for ensuring the collective order and at the end of the day, sleep with a clear conscience. Be cordial and sympathetic to those around us is, above all, the expression of a heart free of any interest. An exercise that makes us more human, and neutralizes the individualism that tends to separate us from the others.

The generosity renews your energy. Psychology is categorical with regard to interpersonal relations: the other mirrors our own image. When we put aside for a few moments our own problems and frustrations and help somebody, we undertake a trip back to our own essence.

Genuinely care for others enables you to find ways to overcome our own obstacles. Giving allows us to replenish and renew our energy.

Generosity manifests itself in every small gesture. Being generous is: respect the workspace of a colleague, giving attention to a child, compromising in a negotiation aiming for a better outcome for all parts involved and last but not least the family, our core, is a good starting point to train and hopefully expand our capacity for giving.

Another exercise is to learn to be generous with ourselves. After all, what good is in striving to improve the lives of others if you are unable to give to ourselves a word of encouragement before the mirror or to respect your boundaries on a daily basis?

Why not start now to put generosity into practice? If we can be in the world with the consciousness directed to a ‘we’ instead of ‘me and the others’, perhaps the feeling of solitude that accompanies many fades and people can contribute to a more generous and fair society.

By the way the answer to the question above is that both are trying to help others. The first one is quite obvious and the second is warning other rabbits of a dangerous situation.

This article was inspired in someone I know all my life and is immensely generous his name is Demin Netto.

The ones that reject the so called “artificial stimuli”, those that promise to bring happiness instantaneously, are more likely to find real happiness. However, in recent decades, more and more people seek instant and miraculous solutions supposedly able to reduce the pains of life: medicines, food, shopping, parties, gambling.

The urgency of being completely immunized against suffering is such a priority that many are ready to put their health and finances at risk. But we must not forget that “the road is better than the destination”, and, more than the road, the way we enjoy the journey. However, for a significant portion of world population, the crossing of life ceased to be an exciting adventure and more of a torment.

In fact, sadness remains the same, a legitimate and necessary manifestation of the soul, we are the ones who change the way we approach it. Thus, instead of finding healthy ways to put this feeling out of your heart, whether doing some kind of therapy, exercising – generators of endorphins, the hormone of pleasure – or simply crying your head off and then lift the head and move on, some have preferred to treat the issue as a disease, or taking medication.

According to researches, sales of antidepressants doubled between 2005 and 2009. But even so, the population doesn’t seem to be any happier. In many cases, drugs do not work, possibly because of limited scope, since they act only increasing certain brain neurotransmitters such as serotonin, norepinephrine and dopamine.

Nowadays, being happy has become a must. A challenge that we set in order to prove to ourselves and especially to others, that we are not weak character. In the struggle to avoid sadness, we resort to anything that takes us out of this condition of “failure”. What sometimes happen is a question of pride, plus the difficulty of dealing with conflict. As we need to look happy all the time, any sign of human sorrow put us on the intolerable situation.

We need to understand that happiness is not synonymous with joy and unhappiness is not the same as feeling sad. Confused? Don’t worry this knot is easily undone, with a minimum of logic and detachment. Any happy person can feel sad and any unhappy person can feel joy. That’s because the joy is an external aspect, from the individual’s relationship with the world, while happiness is a result of the relationship with yourself, so an internal factor.The pursuit of happiness outside of us also put us in a victim position and only brings more frustration. Nobody is protected from feeling sad. So, when something makes us sad, we can accept that this is part of life and not only happens to us. Thus, the distressing situations can be experienced with more serenity.

So get to work. Try to shorten the drama and stop debating on the same spot. Happiness is something that is built internally, it has to do with being alive and understanding the value of life. It is a sentiment that feeds on the small things.

For the French psychiatrist and psychotherapist Christophe Andre, author of Imparfaits Libres Et Heureux (Imperfect, Happy and Free), the key to fulfilment is to accept our imperfections with lightness and humor, an attitude that reveals a robust and healthy self-esteem.

According to the Indian doctor Deepak Chopra, even if circumstances are unfavorable, there is always something to be done. If not outside, certainly within us. This is the argument of the book The Ultimate Happiness Prescription: 7 Keys to Joy and Enlightenment.

See the seven principles outlined by the author and find out what points you can improve to be happier.

1) Pay attention to your body: your body and the universe are a single field of energy, information and awareness. When listening to your body with attention, you enter the field of infinite possibilities, where naturally you will find peace, harmony and joy.

2) Find the true self-esteem: The actual self is beyond appearances. Resides at a level of existence that is independent of other’s opinions, good or bad. When you align yourself to that source, you find a kind of happiness that no one can take from you.

3) Detoxify your life: emotions, habits, relationships and substances of toxic nature contaminate the body and mind. To detoxify your life, you must learn to reverse that. First, taking responsibility for your own actions. Then, recognizing and releasing your feelings so you can move forward.

4) Give up being right: all relationships deteriorate because of the confrontation between right and wrong. Giving up the need to be right does not mean giving up your views. Just adhere to the state of no defence, where there is no need to be attacked or attack and no need to be defended or defend.

5) Focus on the present: the present is the only time that is eternal. Never die, nor should it be forgotten. Therefore, in the here and now, happiness cannot be taken away from you.

6) See the world in yourself: the inner and outer worlds are mirrored. So if your consciousness vibrates in the frequency of love, this feeling will be both inside and outside of you. Thus, a flow of happiness and abundance will manifest when you have reached the deepest level of yourself.

7) Live for enlightenment: this is the most conscious state of existence and also the most natural because it is where you were originated. A place of love, peace and deep joy.

The answer for this question is a big YES.

If you are a dreamer optimism will serve for nothing. Everybody is taught to be optimistic and have positive thoughts but the point we are missing is that we have to be a ‘doer’ to get where we want to be. Being optimistic about the future will not help if you don’t have specific goals to get to your dream life.

If you have as a goal to be successful and have lots of money and are very optimistic and full of positive thinking you will certainly get there if you can answer these questions: How you are going to make this happen? What is your action plan?

There is a huge difference between a dreamer and a doer. The dreamer is always thinking positively and seeing in his mind the astounding house he owns, the swimming pool and the expensive cars he can drive. Unfortunately the dreamer will fail to say how they are going to make all this happen because he doesn’t have a plan or a purpose.

Lots of people are in the dreamer category fantasizing about the future in the hope they will win the lottery or some miracle will suddenly happen. Sadly they will be in the same place in the future, same job they don’t like, in a relationship they are not happy with and keeping the same old destructive habits like overeating, overspending and over drinking using positive thinking and optimism totally in the wrong way.

The doer uses the optimism and positive think in the right way as a leverage to keep going and conquer their goals. The doer also dreams but he has a plan on paper showing where he is now, how he is going to make his way to his ultimate goal which is where he wants to be in the future.

The plan is like a map showing the path you have to follow in order to get where you want. If you are on holidays in a place where you are not familiar with and you want to go sightseeing, the first step is to go to the tourist center in your hotel and take a brochure which will have the touristic points and a little map showing how to get there. Then you are going to sit down and make a little route where to go first and last according to where you are and the circuit of attractions. Isn’t it pure common sense? Would you venture to go sightseeing without a map? So why could we possibly think we can do without a map in life?

Of course during our sightseeing we will get a little bit lost sometimes but we have our map and our route so we can go back to the map and get back on track. Then due to a conversation with a local who showed you a shortcut you may decide to change slightly your route or maybe you have to re-think your route because some attractions are not open yet or you have to take a long detour due to road works but the point is you have your route and you know exactly where you are going so no matter if you have to make some last minute changes you have a certainty that you are going to arrive at your destination. The same is with our plans for the future.

Once you have a map and a route then the answer for the question in the title is a HUGE NO. Optimism and positive thinking DO NOT suck. Actually they are essential to make sure you will arrive at your destination. They represent the attitude you need which is the assumption and the expectation that everything will be fine. The by products of optimism and positive thinking are assurance and positive expectations the two key ingredients of achievement because they give you the fuel needed to keep going. In other words from the start you assume and act knowing that getting there is only a matter of time. These two key ingredients also have the power to manifest some very important qualities you must have to succeed which are creativity, motivation, strength, persistence, discipline, enthusiasm, humor, flexibility and dedication.

So if you have a dream but you don’t know how to plan your route to get there you can try this amazing system – Goals On Track. – It will explain and take you step by step even if you have no idea about goal settings. It’s surely worth a try.

Unless you are a Vulcan like Mr Spock for whom logic is above emotion you are entitled to take your time to grieve. There are quite a lot of situations that can incite grief. Events such as the loss of a job, divorce, failing a test, missing out on a promotion, being mistreated by someone, moving far away from family, the death of someone you love and the list goes on and on.

No matter what it is, disappointment and losses are part of life and unfortunately nobody gave us a manual perfectly suitable for the unique “ME” on how to manage the psychological and emotional bit of us.

Each of us is a unique individual and as so we grieve differently in the “how” and “how long”. The most important thing you should understand is, don’t try to repress it because it will come back to you in its full force later on. Take your time cry and mourn but don’t be stuck. Instead learn from the experience and grow.

Why do some people take a knock-back from life and rise up again, while others sink into negative feelings? The answer is one word rarely used in everyday life, but essential for a happy life: resilience. This is the name given to the capacity to overcome obstacles and let them renovate you, coming out even stronger in the situation.

The term resilience has been adopted to describe those who adapt easily to change, take responsibility and face it with good attitude and energy.

What makes us resilient?

What leads people to cope with the grief with hope and come out of a painful situation – the death of a loved one or loss of a job – is the maturity gained through suffering. The resilient get stronger after each fight.

The good news it everyone can train to achieve resilience – by taking the following actions:

1. Composure

The secret lies in emotional balance. Being able to manage the emotions in an unexpected situation is a sign of maturity. The worse the situation, the greater the need to have a calm mind to make the right decision – a disturbed head does not solve problems.

What to do:

Before proceeding, take a deep breath to balance the heartbeat and calm down. Psychologists explain that this brief pause prevents the immediate reaction, possibly disastrous, giving time to see what to do being rational.

2. Flexibility

Things do not always go as you want, but who is flexible in the face of unforeseen reacts better and find alternative exits, sometimes even better than planned.

What to do:

Have a plan B. Imagine other paths to your goal. If one way did not work, have detachment and evaluate the good side of something new, in other words the unexpected.

3. Mood

Optimism soothes stress and helps you approach problems in a practical and positive, transforming grief into hope.

What to do:

To be in a good mood doesn’t mean you have to laugh all day, but keep an optimistic attitude, which can be developed to assume the role of the observer. Look at the situation as if you were not part of it: you have lightness and find new options.

4. Sociability

Studies by the American psychiatrist Steven Wolin revealed that: 35% of children with a history of abuse, starvation or hard lives that were able to overcome their hardship, were the ones easier to relate. We have to create bonds with those who give us strength and security.

What to do:

Cultivate your relationships. The secret is to show interest, be present and useful. What about using Facebook to remember your friends’ birthday?

Check this book “The Resilient Self”

“A wise man makes his own decisions, an ignorant man follows public opinion” – Chinese Proverb

Although we are not always aware of it, making decisions is part of our daily life. We deal with simple ones like what to wear or eat to the more challenging ones like what university to go to or a business decision. Due to the high number of decisions we have to make on a daily basis it is almost impossible to make rational decisions all the time because our ability for reasoning is limited. Therefore it is extremely helpful to know how our minds work when making a decision.  We use different methods to make decisions and recognising which method we are using at that particular time will give us the chance to overcome it if needed.

One of the ways we make decisions is by using the most “readily available information”. The recurrence of a piece of information in our minds makes it a strong probability that we will make a choice considering this information. A classic example of that is a study from Hastie & Park asking a group of people if the letter K appears more often as the first letter of a word or as the third. Most people answered the first when actually it is the third. The reason for that is this information is more available in our minds as we think more about words where the K comes as the first letter.

“Preconceived ideas and stereotypes” is other way to make a decision. A study from Tversky & Kahneman can perfectly illustrate this way. They asked a group of people to decide if a student from University X (where 80% of the students were studying humanities) was either a computer science student or a humanities student based upon him being described as neat and tidy, dull, mechanical and a poor writer. Guess what? 95% of the group decided in favour of computer science, ignoring completely the base rate factor. The conclusion is that even if the frequency of two things is even we tend to make our decisions to meet our beliefs and stereotypes.

The “trapped feeling” is also a way to make decisions. Usually it happens in relationships or businesses. We feel that we have invested so much that we feel obliged to continue even if huge losses are involved. It is the false feeling that too much investment would be left if we withdraw.

Another way is the “fear of losses”. We are more inclined to say ‘no’ to risky decisions even if they can be more worthwhile unless the risk is to avoid a big potential loss. We are a lot more predisposed to look at losses as investments or costs. Makes it more bearable but delusional sometimes.

Next we have a “framed decision”. When your options are displayed in a way to trick your judgement. We naturally would go more for a product in the supermarket that says 80% fat free than 20% fat. It is just a different approach to present something so we are more susceptible to buy the idea. Another very famous example of this was when Neville Chamberlain, the British Prime Minister, read this statement to a cheering crowd in front of 10 Downing St. when he came back from seeing Hitler in Munich in 1938 and said: “My good friends this is the second time in our history that there has come back from Germany to Downing Street peace with honour. I believe it is peace in our time.”

We all make decisions everyday and these are based upon our previous experiences or our knowledge or our preconceived notions or even preconceived wishes for the future outcome. Be aware of why you come to the decision you have made because by using the wrong concept it is possible to make a totally erroneous decision which ignores the obvious facts of the case and in hindsight is completely stupid. Be realistic and be alert so that you make balanced decisions.